Speaker 1: 0:01

Many of us carry a networking nightmare story. It's shaped as much by fact as by the protective spin we've built around it. These stories often serve a purpose, and that is to shield us from discomfort or potential rejection. By convincing ourselves that we dislike networking, aren't skilled at it or that it's destined to go poorly, we create a logical reason to avoid it all. Together, these so-called explanations may feel like truth, but more often they're a way to stay safely on the sideline. Here's the thing you don't have to love it. You can get better at doing it. Most of all, you define what major disaster is. So if you're going to make up a story, make it monumental.

Speaker 1: 0:51

In the last episode I spoke with Scott Flazar about his career shift. He was in a place where he needed to tap into and grow his network. He knew some basics about networking, but if you heard the episode, you know he had to dedicate more time to it than he had in decades. Really, I do get it that networking is hard. I once referred to myself as being allergic to conferences Too many people, too much pressure, too many awkward silences. I said that until I attended one that made me feel like I belonged in the crowd. I said that until I attended one that made me feel like I belonged in the crowd. I connected with the people and we didn't lack in conversation. It turns out that the right connections make networking easier. It's about finding your ideal people. Hi, I'm Becky, welcome to Short Story Long.

Speaker 1: 1:40

In this podcast, we discuss ways you can integrate who you are into how you lead. Today, I'm offering strategies for building your skills as a leader. Let's talk a little bit about how networking can add to your skill set, whether you're looking for the next position or not. So bad news first. Networking is crucial and should be an ongoing process, not just a reactive strategy. During job searches, scott emphasized how important it was for him to keep consistent in building and developing relationships. There are ways to make it downright worthwhile to do, and not just for landing that next job. It seems like we keep hearing of yet another organization doing layoffs. There are also posts on social media indicating some version of hey, I'm now in the job market, let's connect. Those messages are a great way to extend your network beyond your closest circle. Let's call that a necessary but insufficient condition for networking.

Speaker 1: 2:46

Scott talked about his job search as a full-time job. He also had an established network to some degree, I know. When I started my coaching practice, I felt as if I knew many people. It was true, I did know a lot of people. Unfortunately, those people were not in the best position to help me get where I was going. Scott and I traveled a somewhat similar path, and you can too.

Speaker 1: 3:12

These are the same skills you use all of the time. What you'll want to do is recognize why it's valuable for you to do it, and the other thing I hear from many of my clients, friends, associates, all of the folks around me is I just find it awkward, I don't know what to do. So let's talk about a couple of things that you might be able to do to prepare yourself for networking Many experts. You know the people who will tell you to build your personal brand before you start looking for a job. Actually have a point, and for some, that feels like a big deal and a lot of work. If you want to make it a big deal and get fancy with it, live that dream. If you want a few ideas about marketing or selling yourself as a brand without it being stressful, consider some of these. For example, one reframe You're building a relationship, not selling yourself as a product.

Speaker 1: 4:14

It's about talking to people, learning from them and connecting in some way. People are often willing to help. They want to help. You just have to explain to them how they can. So you make contact and, it's true, some of those people they won't come back, they won't accept that invitation. What you might want to remember is that the only thing that you really own at that stage is that invitation about why they did or did not accept that invitation. Because that's their story, that's their responsibility and, quite frankly, I'm guessing it's their loss, because they probably benefit from talking to you as well. So you just need to let them be. Them move on to the next person on your list, one of the other things that you might wanna do when you're thinking about who am I supposed to reach out?

Speaker 1: 5:11

To Start with people you know well, then expand to the second and third tier connections. The way to get from that first tier to the second and third tier connections is ask your current folks to make introductions to new potential connections. It just starts to expand and grow and you never know who you will meet next. It's an opportunity to maybe go into a different industry, a different field, a different direction, all the things that you wouldn't have known. Even if you don't get a job with that person, the richness of a different perspective is valuable no matter what. So that conversation can actually sort of feed your psyche and make you feel like you're knowing and learning new things, so that you no longer are focusing singularly on but I need a job, I need a job. I need a job where that feels like you're taking, be thinking also about how you can give.

Speaker 1: 6:10

So here's the other piece Treat networking as a two-way relationship, not just a transactional request. You know how you can remember this? Because there are two people and therefore it is a relationship and it's two-way. So that's going to feel really logical to you that oh hey, yeah, that's right. I'm not just walking in with my handout, feeling needy. I'm actually here. I have some qualities that they might benefit from as well.

Speaker 1: 6:36

A great way to kick off that two-way relationship is to ask them questions, get them talking and show you can listen and I'm serious, I can hear the introvert's sigh and relief right here. You mean, I don't have to talk the entire time and I can just let them communicate to me about what they know. The more they're talking, the more you're understanding. Right here, you mean, I don't have to talk the entire time and I can just let them communicate to me about what they know. The more they're talking, the more you're understanding. You can find out what they're seeking. Who knows, they might actually be doing a sly job search themselves and you might be able to do a bit of an information exchange that benefits both of you. Even if not, you might be giving them insights about what's outside their organization and that might be helpful for them as well. So figure out what their challenges are, find out what perspectives you can give and receive in that conversation and, like I said, it gives you something else to think about beyond your search. So now that you have them talking and they're sharing about their experiences, there's also an opportunity for you to share some of the things that you know. You know those things you take for granted that everyone must know, but actually they're a specialty of yours, so you just take your knowledge for granted and other people think that they are amazing.

Speaker 1: 7:49

Nuggets, don't overcomplicate this. Walk into an event. I don't care if you're meeting five people for dinner or if you're networking with a huge conference. Go in with two or three things that you really enjoy doing. Think about the things that are the most fun for you to talk about, and when you're meeting with people, they're talking about something with you. Find a way to connect that one, two or three things that you want to talk about today and choose one of them and say, oh wow, that makes me think of this other thing that I've been working on so that you're reciprocating, you're sharing back and now they're seeing that this is a two-way relationship and it's a great way to cue it up for when you ask them for a way to follow up and stay connected, you still do want to ask for something. You just want to make sure that you're feeling like you're giving and receiving at the same time.

Speaker 1: 8:49

A couple of things that you might want. If they are able to share any postings that they see, that might fit you. You might be out there daily, but you won't see every single posting, so maybe someone sending something your way could be really helpful. Also, it gives you a reason to circle back and connect with them and say, hey, this one is really great, because I see these things and that's really what I'm looking for, and you can thank them and affirm that they're on the right track and they start to feel good about that exchange as well. As I mentioned before, you might also ask them for recommendations for people to meet. You might also ask them for recommendations for people to meet. Be clear about the kind of person you want to meet, but then just stay open to they might not be exactly the person you're looking for and you can talk to them anyway.

Speaker 1: 9:41

Another useful thing that people who are not hiring but want to help might be able to give you are key tips for interviewing. They may not be the hiring manager, but they might be involved in interviews or they may have been in interviews recently and they can share some of the questions that they've heard. You never know what kinds of information could come back to you. Similarly, hey, you know I did my resume, but I'm always looking for feedback on it. Would you take a quick look at it? Hey, key message here they saw your resume, they know what your skill set is, they see how amazing you are and they might really generate some ideas within them of oh hey, you know, when I was talking to Becky, I didn't think about this person. I'm looking at a resume now and maybe she'll kind of click with this other person. I'll let her know that and there creates an opportunity for a second, third and fourth conversation potentially. I know it sounds like a lot.

Speaker 1: 10:38

One of the things that Scott said was networking or job searching is like a full-time job and you really need to dedicate that kind of time. Much like a full-time job. You also need to be disciplined and have focus. So you wanna be intentional and organized with how you kind of time Much like a full-time job. You also need to be disciplined and have focus. So you want to be intentional and organized with how you spend your time, whether it's a cadence of things you do or popping some variety in there, so that you don't have your brain go on pause periodically. Design that for yourself, but have a plan for the day, for the week. This is important and it gives you the chance to balance the energy that you invest. So maybe you go to a conference on Wednesday and Thursday and then on Friday morning you can slide into your chair, think about all of the interesting people you met during that conference and send the emails as follow-up. That is your opportunity to recharge from all of the peopling that you did at the conference and you're able to recharge yourself and keep things moving. You really want to focus on building that circle that serves your needs.

Speaker 1: 11:46

When you choose what to attend or not, look for who the audience will be. They may be at the same level as you or higher, and if everyone else is junior to you and looking to learn from you, then that may not be the best service to your goals. When you go in, so put yourself in the room where your needs get filled. And when you commit to follow-up whether that's following up with those conference attendees, whether that's following up on a conversation that you had with a newly met or a reconnected colleague be sure you send that email, be sure you send that text. However, you have agreed to stay in touch. You leave an impression with every interaction, so do that consciously and consistently so that they know who you are and they can expect that same person to show up each time. No one wants to talk to someone. Have an impression and then find out they're talking to a different person the second time they talk to you.

Speaker 1: 12:49

A lot of what I'm talking about here is really about keeping an open mind about potential opportunities. Maybe, like me, you feel like you're allergic to conferences and if you keep on trying, then it's an opportunity for you to check in and see if it's just those previous conferences weren't your people. Once I found my people, then I was a lot more enthusiastic about trying the next one and I had better information about who my people were and what I wanted to seek out. If you get there and it's awful consider how you can repurpose the time, for example, practicing your greeting when you walk up to someone new. If you don't really expect that they're going to be your people in terms of getting your next role or a long-term connection, well then there's little to no risk in practicing that introduction with them. And if it's truly painful, seriously bend to those two. Consider it a sunk cost and leave. I've done that before where, at launch, I was like, yeah, you know what? Not my jam not doing this and just went home and did something that actually added value to my day. You would do that at a job. You can do that for you as well.

Speaker 1: 13:59

So with this, I really want you to be thinking about this networking thing as recognizing that there are people out there who truly want to help you. You have an opportunity to connect with them and, whether they accept that invitation to talk with you or not, there are those who will say yes, and with those people you can create a cadence and a follow-up and a pattern of asking for things, while you're also staying curious and learning to meet them where they are and understanding what their needs are as well. It's also about being disciplined and staying committed and focused, and there might be a variety of different tools and processes that you might put into place for that, but, like I said, these are skills that you already have. You already know how to talk to people. You may or may not enjoy talking to people all of the time, but you know how to talk to people.

Speaker 1: 14:51

You may or may not enjoy talking to people all of the time, but you know how to have a conversation. Make it a conversation that's rich for you, because those are your people and they're the people you want to work with and stay connected to. And that discipline for getting your work done well, that's just demonstrating accountability, like you would in any role that you've ever been in and ever will be going forward. And, who knows, you might meet a really great human who gives you a really great job. Thanks for listening. If you found this episode helpful, share it with someone who could benefit from it. Until next time, I'm Becky Fraser, reminding you to integrate who you are with how you lead. Okay, bye.