Speaker 1: 0:00

Today is different. Today I'm sharing the story of my sister-in-law. I don't have a regular episode this week, because I knew this day was coming. I also knew I wouldn't be ready for it. What I could prepare is this episode, this chance to tell you not only about my grief and my love for her, but also my conscious choices when it came to my coaching practice. I can share how, as an entrepreneur and leader in my space, I work to balance work and grief, with no permission required. But first let's talk about Tammy.

Speaker 1: 0:40

I've known Tammy for nearly 40 years. She and my brother started dating while I was still in high school. I will often say, and will continue to say, that she has been my sister-in-law so long that the in-law part fell off. She's just my sister now. She's been important in my life in many ways. When I was in those late teenage years, she was a confidant and an advisor. She could call me out without making me feel bad about myself. I have to laugh because I know I wasn't the only one. She was also able to pull that off with my dad and my grandfather. Let me tell you, both men were not likely to take feedback, with all due respect, especially from a woman. Tammy could stand loving and strong and tell us how we could be better. I appreciate that she would care enough to say what she wanted to say. As we got older, our lives were quite different. That was never a problem for us. It always seemed like we could have a conversation with a look, then laugh. She taught me how to have play as a part of my life. Card games would happen, and one fateful night playing the Wii. No, I'm not telling that story, just know that it happened. And if you know, you know.

Speaker 1: 2:09

Then came 2025. In February of this year she was diagnosed with uterine cancer Tests, scary surgery, a round of chemo and then a very difficult determination to stop treatment. Meanwhile, on the business end of things, I'm blessed to have a reasonably flexible schedule. My clients are flexible and supportive. I traveled to St Paul, minnesota, when she was in hospital. I stayed at the farm where they live to support the transition there and that was the post-surgery, and then again after the episode that led to no further treatment. You see, I don't live nearby, but I needed to be there for that.

Speaker 1: 2:57

I made the time and stopped some business activities so I could do what was most important to me. Most, if not all, of my clients were aware that she was sick. They would ask me about her in coaching sessions and I had to push it back to redirect to them. I appreciated that they cared for me and her by extension. And yet that time was for them and I would often explain to them. It was for me too, because I could think about them and stop whining about me.

Speaker 1: 3:33

I chose to share my life with those in my professional realm, not to explain or excuse my absence. I chose to share it because there's a relationship there and I wanted them to know my experience. It's real life. We need to make adjustments and work to accommodate life. Life is going to get lifing sometimes and it needs our attention. No permission was required to take that time. I do know some don't have my flexibility of schedule, but the need still asks to be met. It can be said if I don't hunt, I don't eat, meaning if I don't work, the revenue can stop. For you don't be shy asking for those personal needs to be met. I know because Tammy and my brother told me that time with them was appreciated more than I could know. I don't know, but I believe them.

Speaker 1: 4:35

Now Tammy's gone from our physical lives. Her presence, though, will never leave me. She's in my heart with all the others I've lost. I promised her that my husband and I would look after her people once she's gone. She smiled through her tears. You see, it went without saying when you love someone, you look out for each other. She was one of the people who taught me that. It's only one of the many lessons she's left me holding as I'm recording this episode. Now there's a piece I don't know, and that is how long it will take me to come back. I know it'll be a short hiatus, if I have one, but I wanted my listeners to know, just like I wanted my professional community to know, you're my people too. I wanted to take care of you, and I wanted you to know that you can still expect me to come back. It's just I may need to take some extra time for grieving.