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In my last episode I spoke with Chris Lebow about letting go of external validation, which was driving her need for achievement. She spoke about her introduction to what is called imposter syndrome that inability to believe you earned credit or deserve rewards. When you feel like an imposter, you feel inadequate and can't believe the compliments you hear from others. The close cousin of imposter syndrome is a phrase that I really dislike. It's fake it till you make it. The words are bad enough, but we often sing it too. Hi, I'm Becky. Welcome to Short Story Long.

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In this podcast we discuss ways you can integrate who you are into how you lead. Today I am offering strategies for building your skills as a leader. Let's break down how. Feeling like an imposter isn't a disease or a syndrome. It's a sign of growth.

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I say the cousin to imposter syndrome is fake it till you make it, because it is your way of reinforcing the imposter you believe exists within you. When you say you are faking it, you are reinforcing that idea that you are just not enough. True confession I used to say it. I said it too often. Then I came to some realizations that I share every time I can. One of those is you aren't faking it if you are really doing it. You are not an imposter, pretending that you are successful when the work is actually getting done. An imposter, by definition, is someone who is pretending in order to deceive, especially when it's for fraudulent gain. Are you doing that? I'm going to guess no.

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I hear these phrases when my clients are taking big steps outside of their comfort zone. Scary moments, to be sure. There are doubts about success. Of course. Examples might be taking to the big stage, publishing things like I don't know, podcasts, articles, or accepting a stretch role. Fear, anxiety and doubt abound, but you are decidedly not faking anything. Also, all those sensations are inside you to alert you to the challenge. The one you are deceiving is you. The challenge the one you are deceiving is you. And sadly, sometimes that is actually working. When does the credential matter For me, I'd say I want my doctors, my nurses and my air traffic controllers to be appropriately credentialed and licensed. Most of us do not have roles where we hold others' lives in our hands. If and when we make a mistake, often there is a way to recover.

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Chris realized that she achieved her goals without always passing the test and getting that pin. She did get the experience and knowledge along the way. You are doing the thing too. You are actually preparing to walk on the stage. You have actually written or recorded a message. You are about to press, publish and share that message with your audience. You are actually saying yes to that next step.

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Don't dismiss the effort, the capability and the courage that brought you to this place. You're forgetting or ignoring all the things that led you here. Give that journey and you the credit it deserves, which brings me to my next point. I've already talked about how you actually did the thing and didn't fake the thing. There's one more key element to share about this you dismiss your ability to make it. When you say that you faked it, what are you saying about yourself when you do that? Faking it means you made something appear to happen or that you falsified something. Since we have already established that you do the thing, it's not only the journey that deserves credit. You do too.

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Chris said she couldn't embrace the concept of messy action. Okay, I get that she could give. Everyone around you saw that thing you did. They saw the success of it. When you tell yourself and others you faked it or are an imposter, it's essentially claiming you lied or claimed something that isn't yours. The truth, the lie, is the one you tell yourself about being an imposter. Maybe messy action or curious action don't feel right to you. Words do matter, so identify what action you are willing to take.

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Consider the times you accomplished something that you weren't sure you could do. What kind of action did you take? And then plant that flag? You did it, so own it. It wasn't perfect, oh yay, you get to learn and do better next time.

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The first time you do something isn't supposed to be perfect. Where's the growth with that? You learn best when things go wrong or if you are uncomfortable. Yeah, sounds like a great time. Right, let's go get wrong and uncomfortable, so you aren't faking it when you're doing the work. You aren't an imposter because you aren't deceiving anyone or committing fraud. You don't need to dismiss your achievements by shoving them under the rug. In fact, please, for the love of all that is good, spend time celebrating your achievements. You deserve so much more applause and should not squander it.

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Here's my skill builder challenge for you. If you choose to accept it, take a look at something you tried. Think about what did actually work and what you learned from it. What was it about you that led to success. Now you can recognize that as a strength as you take on new challenges. No imposter, no faking, just your, your strength. Let me know what you discover through this challenge by sending a message on linkedin or using the link in the show notes. Thanks for listening. If you found this episode helpful, share it with someone who could benefit from it. Until next time, I'm becky fraser, reminding you to integrate who you are with how you lead. Okay, bye.