Setting the Stage with Alan's Story

Beki 0:01

In my last episode I spoke with Alan Heyman about a misalignment and a decision to reclaim agency over his work and well-being . Two things surfaced for me during that interview and we will go deeper into those today . Hi , I'm Becky , welcome to Short Story Long . In this podcast , we discuss ways you can integrate who you are into how you lead . Today , I am offering strategies for building your skills as a leader . Let's break down how setting boundaries and managing your psychological safety is critical to your success and well-being

Boundaries in Leadership

Beki 0:33

. These two ideas came through powerfully in that recent conversation with Alan . His story , like many of ours , involved feeling the letdown of a new role not matching his expectations . Instead of resentment , alan became curious about what was happening , what boundaries he needed and what was the best choice for him .

Beki 0:55

Alan had taken a high-profile leadership role in a global non-profit . He initially thought it was the dream job , the one he'd retire from , but just nine months in he realized he was drowning . He was in 45 to 50 meetings a week . Almost none of them energized him and , as an introvert , that constant demand left him completely depleted . What he learned through coaching and reflection is that part of leadership isn't just managing tasks or people . It's managing your own energy with intention .

Beki 1:28

Meeting invitations are exactly that an invitation Invitations can be accepted or not . So many people I speak with tell me that they are double and triple booked in meetings , or they feel they have to accept every meeting . Sure , your boss or a VIP client sends a meeting request you will likely accept . Not every conversation , though , is a crisis that needs to be addressed immediately . Even when you know it's important , it's worthwhile to evaluate whether it's urgent . There's no harm in asking the question . Hey , I'm wondering if this is a today thing or if we could meet tomorrow . Thoughts on that . Boundaries may also include scheduling meetings with yourself . I worked with someone who had an aha moment . It was I could prepare for the meeting with me in the same way I do with others . I can have an agenda for myself and a plan . Then it's not as easy to dismiss and it has a purpose that keeps me on track , and it worked .

Beki 2:35

Boundaries aren't rigid walls . They're the structures that support your capacity to show up for others . When I mentioned that meeting invitations are truly invitations and can be rejected , yeah , that's when many want to challenge me . I get it . I do , yet I still hold that . It is a true statement

Creating Psychological Safety

Beki 2:55

. What needs to be in play is psychological safety , that it is socially acceptable to turn down the invite . That phrase may get abused and overused , so I'll share what I mean by it .

Beki 3:09

Psychological safety is about feeling , or creating the feeling with others , where everyone is free to share feelings and thoughts without risk of harsh backlash . It is about acknowledging others' views even if you don't agree with the point . It is about acknowledging others' views even if you don't agree with the point . What it is not is when everyone is walking on eggshells in fear of offending someone . The balance of this is critical , and in groups or teams it may also require discussion about agreements .

Beki 3:38

In Alan's story , he recalled a moment with his first coach , a moment that changed everything . He recalled a moment with his first coach , a moment that changed everything . He was sharing the overwhelm , the ambiguity , the sheer weight of what he was carrying , and the coach paused and simply said this is hard . That moment of validation helped him breathe again . He felt seen , not judged , not fixed , because , oh yeah , he wasn't broken , just felt understood . It sounds simple , but for a lot of leaders , that kind of validation is rare and it's transformational . This is the essence of psychological safety and , as a leader , you can do the same . You don't need to have all the answers , but you can say I hear you , I see how hard this is . You're not alone in seeing it this way . When you bring these two practices together self-awareness of your own limits and the ability to create safety for others you build trust , resilience and sustainability into your leadership .

Leadership Skill-Building Challenges

Beki 4:47

Here's two skill builder challenges for you , if you choose to accept one or both . First , where in your day are you consistently drained and what boundary , however small , could help shift that ? Find it and use it . The second option when was the last time you let someone know you truly saw them , even if you didn't fully agree with them ? Maybe it's time to show them that kind of appreciation , Because leading like a human isn't soft , it's wise , and that's where real leadership lives

Episode Closing

Beki 5:25

. Keep finding opportunities to establish boundaries and create safety for yourself and others . Thanks for listening . If you found this episode helpful , share it with someone who could benefit from it . Until next time , I'm Becky Fraser , reminding you to integrate who you are with how you lead . Okay , bye .